Why there are certain life moments we feel worth to remember? Because they fix things in our life. Because it changes things in life into something better.
Think of them. The moments we felt we were appreciated. Moments when we feel we were so precious for some people. Times when we feel we were able to overcome obstacles. Such life moments are worth to remember, because they were times when we find our self-worth, and feel happy about them.
Obviously, most people will not includes their moments with people who opposed them in the list. Why? Well, most will argue, those who are in opposition with us are our enemies or foes, people who are not really along with us. How can we have moments worth-remembering with foes?
I don’t think I have the precise answer. I, however, believe that our enemies or foes are somewhat major parts of who we are. They affect our lives in many incredible ways. Let’s consider the following examples. Most people spent their time to solve problems they believed was caused by others. These ‘problem-causing others’ are basically people who get in our way. They are constraints, hindrances or obstacles in getting what we want. They are our ‘enemy’ or ‘foe’.
But, by facing them, we learn how to improve ourselves and how to face challenges. By dealing with them, we find ourselves, and we determine what we will be.
In what makes it even more interesting is when we find ourselves valuable in the responses of those who against our stand. In the business of organizational change and development, I found two major types of response definitely related in deciding how noteworthy our idea for change is: The support of the common and the resistance of big oppositions. The supports from the common may not always a privilege every idea for change can get. Resistance, on the contrary, is something every idea for change will experience. I think it’s a nature in life that there will always be people who resist our idea, against our stand.
But, if those who resist or oppose your idea are ‘big players’, then obviously your idea is something. If many and strong players against our stand, chance is that our stand is incredibly sound. Thus, our idea for change is threatening for those who believe their interest will be in jeopardy because of our stand. In short, is our enemy who validates our value.
Seth Godin’s book, Linchpin: Are you indispensable? , shows us the role of a linchpin; people who are able to overcome challenge, against all odds and tame all constraints to get things done. As Godin said, linchpins are noticeable not by their titles or occupational resumes, but by their reputable works and historical results. Works and results are evidence of how they deal with challenges and constraints. Our strength is in fact a description of how we face challenges and overcome ordeals. I see this as a very fundamental nature in our life.
In many fables and folklores from various cultures, death is mortal enemy of humanity. Yet, when we look into those stories, we learn that this eternal foe of our life is in fact our best friend in the journey of finding the value of life. Mythical heroes and legendary sages are known for their chivalrous life, particularly for their valor in battle against their deathly enemy. Death is in fact the inspiration for most actions in our life.
Without the bad wolf, Red Riding Hood will not worthy enough for to read for our children. Without the atrocity of the Pharaoh, Moses will be only one prince among other princes in Egypt history. Without George W. Bush controversial administration, Barrack Obama will only a young senator from Illinois who wanted to be a president. Progressive exists through the existence of conservatives. Without American influence in global world as his enemy, Osama bin Laden may just another prince from Saudi Arabia. Illiteracy is the very basic reason education should exist. Without diseases, medical doctors may just another kind of job. Without the existence of their enemy, they may as well be less influential in history.
Without those who resistant to change, change itself may just be a meaningless idea. Without those who oppose us, we found ourselves less meaningful. Without our enemy, we will be lonely….and less validated. It’s a quite an overwhelming paradox, isn’t it?
I believe, in the future shaped by uncertainty and volatility, we need to embrace this paradoxical relation with our ‘enemy’ better……Perhaps, it is them who we should be more appreciate to….
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